WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Wake-up call

TWO mothers are having a conversation about their children one day.

"How do you get your son up so early on school mornings?" asks the first woman.

"Oh, that’s easy," replies the second. "I just throw the cat on his bed."

"Why does that wake him up?"

"He sleeps with the dog."

While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.

"As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?"

"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I’d limp too."

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?"

Student: "Simple, because George still had the axe in his hand."

While shopping in a supermarket I heard the following over the PA system: "A wallet containing a large sum of money was found, but it contains no ID. Will those laying claim to it please form a double line at the customer service counter?"

Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift-wrapped box. "It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow," Doug said. "Last week, I asked her what she wanted for her birthday."

"And?" Bill asked. "Well, she said, oh, I don’t know just give me something with diamonds in it’".

"So what did you get her?" asked Bill.

"I bought her a deck of cards."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma