Website Humour
Memory game

A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT. Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said: "I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names but this is the first time I will see a man sign his name and forget to write the letters".

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realised that he would need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5 a.m.". The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m., and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It said, "It’s 5 a.m., wake up."

A woman walks into her boss’s office with this complaint:

"All the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment.

"Since you haven’t sexually harassed me, I’m suing you for discrimination."

My wife cannot ride in a car without telling whoever is driving what to do, when to do it, etc. She is the worst backseat driver. I have long thought this, though she would deny it. She claimed she seldom, if ever made comments about my driving. I, of course, claimed the opposite. Now I have a proof. The other day we were headed for the mall and my daughter piped up, “Daddy, before you married mom, who told you how to drive?”