WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Spot on

A father thought it was about time to lecture his son, who was somewhat scatter-brained and frivolous.

"Jim," he said, "You’re getting to be a man now and you ought to take life more seriously. Just think... if I died all of a sudden, where would you be?"

"I’d be right here, dad," said Jim. "The question is where would YOU be?"

What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled the motorist as the police constable handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.

"Keep it," the constable advises. "When you get four of them, you get a bicycle."

Two friends are talking and one says to the other; "I am so tired of people not understanding what I’m talking about". His friend asks; "What do you mean?"

A police officer stops a woman for overspeeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her licence. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday one of you takes away my licence and then today you expect me to show it to you."

A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing extraordinarily well. "This is a very smart dog," the man commented. "He’s really not so smart," said one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail."

"I never would have married you if I knew how stupid you were," shouted the woman to her husband. The husband replied, "You should have known how stupid I was the minute I asked you to marry me."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma