WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Plane truth

The plane was only half full. When an attractive young woman asked a man if the seat next to him was free, his male ego soared. Soon they were chatting pleasantly, and she told him it was her first flight.

"Mom told me to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously. "And you look just like my dad."

An old lady was nervous because her eyesight was failing and she was afraid that her friend whom she was expecting to marry might reject her. So, she comes up with a plan to prove to him that she can see perfectly. She puts a straight pin on a tree that is about 200 feet from her front porch. When her beau arrives, they sat in the porch swing and are talking when she suddenly stops the conversation and asks, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?" Her friend squints his eyes and says, "I don’t see a thing." "Well, I’m going to go and see," she says as she jumps up, runs towards the tree, and collides with a cow.

A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife.

The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

"Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"

"Yes, my husband." "Are you happy?" "Yes, my husband." "Happier than you were with me?" "Yes, my husband." "Then Heaven must be an amazing place!" "I’m not in Heaven, dear."

A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.

Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this manoeuvre, she commented, "I don’t think that’s going to help." "Sure it does," he said. "It’s the only way I can see the numbers."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma