WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Too young

Doctor to patient’s husband: “I’m sorry. We did all that was humanly possible but we just can’t wake her up from her coma. It doesn’t look good I’m afraid.”

“But doctor, she’s so young. She’s only thirty-nine.”

Upon which the comatose wife said weakly, “Thirty-seven.”

Photo shoot

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, “There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or “That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.”

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher. She’s dead.”

Healthy lesson

A man walks into his doctor’s office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, “I can’t talk. Help me.”

The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered. The doctor quickly picked up a big book and whacks the man’s thumb with it as hard as he could.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” the man yelled.

“Good, good,” the doctor said. “Come back tomorrow and we’ll work on the ‘B’.”

Getting even

Husband to wife: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger”?

Wife: “I clean the toilet bowl”.

Husband: “How does that help”?

Wife: “I use your toothbrush”.

Compiled by Sunil Sharma