WEBSIDE HUMOUR
High spirits

A drunk was brought before the court. The judge began, "Mister, you’ve been brought here for drinking." "Great!" the drunk exclaimed. "When do we get started?"

On a whim a man decided to get his wife a dozen roses and surprise her after work. The minute he opened the door, his wife took one look at the flowers in his hand and started screaming, "This is the worst day that I have ever had! The kids have been terrible. They got in a food fight, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement, I burned dinner, the dog chewed up my best pair of shoes... and now you have come home drunk."

A husband and wife, vacationing in Rome, were being shown through the Colosseum. "Now, this room," said the guide, "is where the slaves dressed to fight the lions." "But how does one dress to fight lions?" inquired the husband. "Very slow-w-w-w-w-w-ly," replied the guide.

A teacher asked her fifth grade history class, "When was Rome built?"

"Rome was built at night." One of the students answered. "At night?" asked teacher, "How ever did you get such an idea?" "Well," gulped the student, "Everyone knows Rome wasn’t built in a day."

An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality, so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The woman quickly responded, "The living one."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma