ulta pulta
Spirited status
Jaspal Bhatti

TWO regular drinkers were in a bar discussing the traffic problem. “They should educate teetotallers how to drive safely”, said one.

The other added, “Quite right! Those who don’t drink should not be allowed on the road after 9 pm as they are a menace to the traffic”.

With the traffic police getting stricter, regular party-goers are wondering as to who would drive them home after the party. In such cases, freelance drivers can make good money if they offer their services on an hourly basis for driving drunkards home. The driver could also demand extra money if his services include calming the drunkards’ wife when she opens the door.

The Mumbai traffic police’s decision to patrol the streets with breathalysers is making alcohol lovers dispirited. The same terror might soon be unleashed by the Delhi and Chandigarh police.

Drunkards are also very status conscious. When my colleague was booked for drunken driving, I called him up. He proudly claimed, “I am going to be in the company of celebrities like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan who have been sentenced for similar offences.”

Once a traffic police squad beckoned a driver to stop who had half a bottle of country-made liquor and put the breathalyser to him. Opening the challan book, the officer said, “I am afraid I will have to book you for drunken driving.”

The drunkard said, “Could you please mention in the charges that I had consumed Scotch. This would enhance my status among the drunkards.”





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