ulta pulta
Talking point
Jaspal Bhatti

When I asked someone as to why men pass more gas than women, he said it was because women could not keep their mouth shut long enough to build the pressure within.

Earlier, there were rumours that women speak about 20,000 words per day and men speak about 7,000. According to a new study, these assumptions are false. Now they say women speak an average of 16,215 words and men 15,669 a day. It means the difference is not significant.

According to my assessment, a male or female IAS officer may not speak more than 200 words a day because of his or her arrogance. They might go golfing when their fixed quota of words gets exhausted. But if we talk of a ‘Chamcha’ of a senior officer he has got to say at least 20,000 words per hour in his boss’s praise. So any survey conducted on such officers tends to give false results. Similarly, politicians acquire tremendous divine energy to speak innumerable words during elections.

Another major factor that determines the volume of words being spoken is the situation in which a man or a woman is placed. Remember the old classic, "Chup chup khade ho zaroor koi baat hai. Pehli mulaqaat hai ji pehli mulaquat hai". Usually a woman doesn’t talk much with a man before marriage. She would rather hear her boyfriend praising her at 20,000 words per hour, but once the saat pheras are over, his tongue is put under control. He is permitted only a few words like, "Hanji, Yes Madam, Sorry ji, what next..."

An NRI had to come back to his native village on his father’s death. He somehow couldn’t attend the cremation. He asked his brother, "What were the last words of our father?" His brother said, "The poor man didn’t get a chance. Our mother kept on talking to him till his last breath."

HOME