WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Bard for the blonde

In an attempt to impress her friends, a blonde went to the college library and start searching for some book. Seeing her roaming the stacks looking confused, the librarian asked if she could help her.

"I have to read a play by Shakespeare," the blonde said. "Which one?" she asked. The blonde scanned the shelves and answered, "William."

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer and a carpenter. One afternoon he returned early from work and saw a plumber’s truck in the driveway. "Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let her be having an affair."

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I’m wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can’t read, I can’t write — and they won’t let me talk."

Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You’ve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place.

Doctor: I am, bit by bit

A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet.

"Does your dog bite?" he asked. "No," was the reply. A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk out of his leg. "I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!" the victim said indignantly. "That’s not my dog," said the man.

Panting and perspiring, two men on a tandem bicycle at last got to the top of a steep hill.

"That was a stiff climb," said the first man. "It certainly was," replied the second man.

"And if I hadn’t kept the brake on, we would have slid down backward."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma