WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Good news, bad news

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied.

“The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The guy was your doctor.”

Flight in control

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?”

“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the flight attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”

Good job

A young man asked for any job so that he could travel with the circus. The owner of the circus, thinking he might be able to make an assistant lion tamer out of the young man, took him out to the practice cage.

The head lion tamer, a beautiful young woman, was just starting her rehearsal. As she entered the cage, she removed her cape with a flourish and, standing in a gorgeous costume, motioned to one of the lions.

Obediently, the lion crept toward the young woman, nuzzled her cheek, and rolled over twice.

“Well,” said the owner to the young man, “think you can do that?”

“Sure Sir,” said the young man, “but you’ll have to get that lion out of there first.”

Bird call

A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said he had indeed lost the bird but wanted to know how the caller located him.

The called said the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, “Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma