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The pre-release high decibel talk of Shahenshah versus King Khan on the one hand and Khan (Shahrukh) versus Khan (Salman) on the other appears to have simmered down, at least for the time being. Comparisons, especially three way ones, are always odious, but sometimes inevitable. So here we have three movies, Big B’s Don of 1978 vintage, its much hyped remake featuring SRK and, finally, the romantic comedy Jaaneman. The latter two are locked in a mortal combat at the box-office. The issue will have been settled by the time this piece is published as today’s box office is quick and unforgiving. If it wasn’t a remake, Don wouldn’t have disappointed the discerning viewer to such an extent. Shahrukh has managed to give the 21st century gangster a menacingly diabolical persona. The nonchalance displayed while committing cold blooded murders does chill the spine. His dialogue delivery is superb as usual. But, and this is a big but, he fails to convince as Vijay the paan-chewing bumpkin from UP. His gestures, especially the offering of paan to D’ Silva (Boman Irani) inevitably reminds one of Bachchan’s Vijay to the disadvantage of the former. And the Khaikay paan`85 number simply bombed — it looked so out of place in the narrative. As for the other characters, well, Arjun Rampal is no Pran and Om Puri’s formidable talent has been wasted as Interpol official. Kareena certainly doesn’t disappoint although she’s far better actress than dancer. Priyanka Chopra is streets ahead of Zeenat Aman — histrionically speaking; as far as the oomph factor is concerned, the jury is still out. And pray, why was Isha Koppikar cast at all? Her character (Anita) is redundant while Chopra sizzles as Roma. So, even as characterisation is a mixed bag and the storyline unoriginal, Farhan Akhtar’s direction fails to conjure up the vital factor called ambience. The plot is based in Malaysia but we hardly get a glimpse of that country’s underworld or even the police, barring some caricatures. And, the unimaginative music doesn’t help either. How one wishes natches of local music were used in this era of fusion. The flavour remains overwhelmingly Bollywoodian – unreal, artificial and tasteless. On the other hand, Big B’s twin characters looked authentically Indian and, in retrospect, real. His Don was a ruthless demigod feared by his foes and henchmen alike. Vijay looked the part as a country yokel transformed into a replacement Don. The music only helped in building up the atmosphere. With Helen and Pran performing credibly, one was content to overlook Zeenie baby’s hamming and remain absorbed in the unfolding plot from start to finish. Something that can’t be said of its present version. The original Don is in no danger of being ousted from his high pedestal by this imposter. Going by today’s standards, Jaaneman had a rather modest pre-release publicity. A romantic comedy, it features the trio of a trusting lass, a silent lover and an ambitious cad of a husband. The simpleton Champu loves his college mate Piya but is unable to express his feelings. Piya, in turn, falls for the glamorous Suhaan and marries him. The heartbroken Champu drops out of the college and disappears, only to reappear as a NASA astronaut. Meanwhile, for the sake of his career, Suhaan ditches the pregnant Piya. Faced with alimony claims Suhaan contrives to reunite Piya and Champu. And thus begins a series of almost funny sequences. ‘Almost’ because one does chuckle occasionally but no belly-aching guffaws are evoked despite Anupam Kher’s presence. Salman Khan is more a lucky star than an actor despite his couple of performances that won him appreciation in the past. So, unlike SRK, he doesn’t have to live up to any benchmark, except of course his image as shirtless mini-Atlas which he manages to do in this movie too. As Suhaan Kapoor, the struggling actor, he is good. Preity Zinta as his divorced wife is, well, pretty. She does show flashes of her talent as bindaas college girl and impresses opposite Akshay Kumar in comic situations, though. Anupam Kher doesn’t disappoint as a dwarf lawyer but one fails to understand the reason for this portrayal a la Kamalahassan in Appu Raja. But Hassan’s character was very much relevant to the film’s story while Kher’s looks superfluous. It is Akshay who really steals the show by emoting brilliantly as a silent, simpleton lover who makes good in life but remains true to his love. One issue is settled for the time being. King Khan has all the makings of an all-time great actor but he has light years to go before he catches up with Amitabh Bachchan. As for Salman, he is no threat to Shahrukh, unless the latter aspires to become a half-clad cutie. Period.
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