Jagdish’s husband Dhanwant Singh was invited by the Commerce Department of the US to help them increase trade with India. Jagdish recalls, “In 1960, the US came across as a different country for any Indian visiting or migrating there. I was not the kind to ever cry. But, believe me, when I arrived in the US, I did nothing except cry for three months. It was awfully lonely. My husband would leave early morning and return late evening. What to say of Indians even Americans would not be visible anywhere around. Except for a stony silence or the sound of passing vehicles there was nothing that one could divert one’s attention to. At this point an American woman came to my rescue.

“She suggested that I should do voluntary work. She was a godsend because I too had always wanted to do some social work. I immediately joined Columbia School of Social Work. In 1964, I completed Master’s degree, which enabled me to get a job at an adoption agency. Gradually I also worked with special kids. It required me to work with families, psychologists and kids from different social backgrounds. America was totally different from India in its social structure and it was absolutely essential for me to understand the new country as it was going to be my new home. Gradually as I got involved in work, my tears and loneliness vanished.”

When the first gurdwara was built in California, Jagdish came across many Indians. While it was an enriching experience spiritually and emotionally, it also turned out to be depressing. “A majority of the women were suffering. They were lonely and completely cut off from the world. Many of them didn’t know how to speak in English. An old woman cried and cried, saying that only ghosts live in America. She hardly saw any human beings around her house.

“In addition to alienation, many women also had health problems, which were getting neglected because of their circumstances. To add to their woes, they did not know driving, and had to depend on their husbands who were immersed in earning their bread in a foreign land. That’s when I decided that I shall devote my life to senior citizens from India,” reveals Jagdish Kaur.

There are two gurdwaras near Jagdish’s house. She attends to problems of elderly women at both places. She also makes them aware of healthcare and organises lectures by experts on breast cancer, arthritis, dry eyes, depression, etc. Every evening she holds a ‘social hour’, where she talks to them about diet and exercise. She also asks them not to indulge in backbiting.

“Most of these elderly ladies are from rural India. They find it cathartic to criticise their children or in-laws. They have built a false world around themselves wherein they glorify their sons and the luxury of life in the US when they visit India. But the reality is that there is a tremendous change in the social structure in the US. Here sons, daughters-in-law, husbands and children are under no social or cultural pressure to revere their elders, as is the practice in India. People don’t have time for each other. If you are not independent and are incapable of looking after yourself, you are bound to suffer. Against this backdrop, I always tell these women that their children, in-laws, husbands or any other relative can turn hostile towards them. Since they love their near and dear ones so much, they cannot desert them. In such a situation, it is best to adjust, learn to forgive and live in peace.”

Jagdish is suffering from cancer of the uterus and one of her knees has been affected by osteoporosis. But you do not see any pain or bitterness on her face as she goes about her routine. Instead, one finds her motivating and helping distressed women.