WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Always on call

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. Sheignored the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably. "All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. It’s always for you."

Needing some clothes cleaned in a hurry, a man searched the small Georgia town he was visiting until he found a sign which read: "Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service." After explaining his needs, he said, "I’ll be back for my suit tomorrow." "Won’t be ready till Saturday," replied the proprietor. "But I thought you had 24-hour service," the customer protested. "We do, son," the proprietor said. "But we only work eight hours a day. Today’s Thursday — eight hours today, eight hours on Friday, eight on Saturday. That’s 24-hour service."

The mother and father had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 a.m., the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?" "Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, I think, I’ll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tyre of the car."

Three aspiring golfers were taking lessons from a pro. The first guy hit the ball far to the right. "That was due to LOFT," said the pro. The second man hit his ball far to the left. "That, too, was due to LOFT," said the pro. The third golfer took a swing, and the ball just went a few feet and stopped. "Once again, it’s LOFT," the pro claimed. "Well, what exactly do you mean by LOFT?" asked the third golfer. "Lack of fine talent," replied the pro.

Compiled by Sunil Sharma