WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Smart move

Billy walks into class late. His teacher says, "Billy, do not walk into class late again." The next day Billy crawls into class late once again. His teacher says, "Billy, I thought I told you not to come into class late." Billy responds, "No, you told me I could not walk in class late.

A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, "What do you think we should do?"

The farmer replied, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I’d feed it." So the preacher began to preach... and preach... and preach. After about two hours, he concluded.

Then he stepped down and said to the farmer, "So, what did you think?"

The farmer replied, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I certainly wouldn’t try to feed it all the hay."

On their second marriage anniversary, a husband, from his office, asked the florist on phone to send his wife flowers at home.

He told the florist to write "Happy`A0Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card.

The wife was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You’re Number 2."

After gunning his BMW the wrong way down a one-way street, the rather intoxicated young man was asked where he thought he was going by a curious police officer.

"I’m not really sure," confessed the drunk, "but wherever it is, I must be late, because everybody seems to be coming back already."

A man taking a woman home after their first date asks if he can come inside for a cup of coffee. "Oh, no," she says, "I never ask a guy in on the first date."

"Okay," the man replies, "how about the last date?"

An eighth grade teacher was leading a discussion on the qualifications for being president of the United States. After the teacher commented that a person must be a natural-born citizen, one of the students raised her hand. "Does that mean that if you were born by Caesarean section, you can’t be president?"

Compiled by Sunil Sharma