boarded the
train to Kronach with mixed feelings. Once the train started moving,
my last trip to Kronach in the late 1990s flashed before me. At that
time, Julia, my friend, had insisted that I must visit her mother,
Amma Willner. And now I was going to visit Amma, 84, to share her
grief as Julia left us for ever in 2003.News of her untimely demise
came to me only a few months ago. For the past couple of years, I did
not receive any mail or even a Christmas card from Julia. Intuition
told me that something was wrong before I asked my friend Barjinder
Sodhi in Berlin to find the telephone number of her mother in Kronach.
In 2002, she had written to me that she was moving back to her mother’s
home.
When my friend returned the call, he had sad news. Brave Julia
fell to the mosquitoes of Ghana. She would never care about hostile
terrain or environments in her quest for exploring new territory. She
travelled to Kashmir as well as Sri Lanka during insurgencies.
Julia
was the second of three children. It was in early ’60s that we
started corresponding with each other as penfriends. And in 1986,
almost 20 years later, we were face to face with each other. Julia
married Dr Grasberger, a financial wizard, who used to advise sick
industrial units.
Julia, carrying both her children — daughter Ute
and son Tilo — had come to receive me and Jaspal Bhatti at Koln
railway station and escorted us to her beautiful bungalow in Freshen,
a suburb. But before we could take our baggage out, she drove us to a
nearby hotel. The reason: she wanted us to be comfortable.
I was
pleasantly surprised the next morning when a waiter, without any
order, brought me a cup of tea — with sugar and milk. On inquiry he
said that Julia had instructed him to do so. What a sharp memory she
had as more than 10 years ago, I had once written to her that I was
found of bed tea with sugar and milk. In 1997, when my entire family
visited her, she had displayed in her living room a drawing made by me
in 1969. We were amazed when she showed us the entire correspondence
she had with me. It was neatly piled and kept in a box.
Without
taking a break from her work, she would take us out for sightseeing. I
vividly remember that in 1986 she drove us to the then German capital,
Bonn, at midnight. After dropping us back at our hotel at three in the
morning, she turned up for work at six.
Between 1986 and 1998, Julia
visited India several times. Besides being a trained gymnastic
teacher, she was an excellent photographer. During one of her trips to
India, she lost her camera and a bag while she was on her way to
Chandigarh from Srinagar in a bus. She was upset not over the loss of
the camera but the films she had exposed in the valley. Every time she
went back from India, she organised an exhibition of photographs
depicting the diverse and rich Indian heritage and culture.
Whenever
she would come to India, she would sit beside me on the front seat in
the car and tell my wife, Vinky, that she enjoyed a priority because
she had known me longer. She was always smiling and would laugh loudly
even at the slightest provocation. Since she was fond of smoking
strong cigars, she would normally walk out, sit on the railing of the
park opposite our house, puff away and then come back. One room
remained reserved for her as she would leave some of her belongings
behind every time she visited us.
During one of her visits, she
joined us for New Year’s Eve celebrations at the Chandigarh Press
Club, and on another occasion she accompanied us to the wedding of my
brother-in-law in Ludhiana.
When my family visited her at her
Hollfeld studio near Bayreuth in 1997, she made sure that we all were
"very comfortable". She organised a special dinner in our
honour by calling some guests. She made sure that we were taken to all
major tourist attractions in the area. At that time Julia was a broken
woman. She had separated from her husband.
Though she was extremely
attached to her children, she did not have enough money to pay for
their education and care. It was perhaps the only reason she never
sought their custody. Instead she would visit them in their boarding
houses. On one of such occasion I accompanied her to a boarding house
where Tilo was training as a horse rider.
After a few years of lonely
life in Hollfeld, she returned to her mother’s home, the place where
she was born and spent her childhood with her elder sister, Jutta, and
younger brother, Toni. Her father, a soldier, died when she was young.
Her mother, a schoolteacher, had initially worked in a post office
during World War II. It was during her stint there that she learnt
English as she had to interact with American soldiers.
During my last
visit to Kronach, Amma told me several stories of the hardships
Germans suffered because of the war. At times, she recalled, how she
and her family would survive on a dry loaf of bread for several
days.
While on the train I was trying to imagine how lonely Amma
would be and how would she have taken the death of her
"brave" daughter. Amma, looking fit and agile, was at the
railway station to receive me. She drove me home, saying that we
should have food first before visiting the cemetery. In the same
cemetery, her husband had been buried.
It was on the dinning table
that Amma told me the story of Julia’s last journey. After putting
up an exhibition of her photographs at the annual craft festival of
Kronach in December, 2002, Julia left for Ghana without even telling
her mother. Amma thought she had gone to Munich to meet her boyfriend
till she received a letter from Ghana in which Julia had asked her to
receive her at the railway station some days later.
"I went to
pick her up. But she did not come out. So I went inside the station
and found her lying on the platform, unconscious. She was running high
temperature. I got her admitted to a hospital. Doctors told me that it
was a bad case of malaria and the chances of her survival were slim. I
informed her children and her ex-husband. She remained in hospital for
three weeks before she gave up the fight. Unfortunately, after her
return from Ghana, she could not speak even a word. Both Ute and Tilo
wanted me to inform you about her death but I did not have your
address.
"She had mentioned somewhere that after her death she
should be cremated. So we cremated her and then raised this burial. In
one of her bags I found a picture on the back of which she had written
that ‘my camera, bag and purse have been stolen. I am hungry and
very sick.’ This was written almost a week before her return from
Ghana. Why couldn’t she return immediately, I still cannot
understand." Some of photographs taken by Julia now adorn the
walls of Amma’s house. "This is all that is left of her,"
Amma said sobbingly
After the food, she took me to the cemetery.
Julia, who always took pride in taking me around in Germany, was no
more there to greet me with her ever-smiling face or her loud
laughter. She lay there, quiet, unlike the Julia I knew.
And when we
walked into the old town, there was a festival of traditional crafts.
Though the town looked the same, yet something was missing. Last time
it was Julia who had taken me around and explained each and every
exhibit there. The crowded streets of this historical town now seemed
deserted and lifeless.
Everything looked different as Amma tried to
put up a brave face.