WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Value for money

Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for 50,000 and I want my money."

The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband."

An important official who was visiting an insane asylum was making a telephone call but had difficulty getting the number.

Finally, in exasperation, he shouted to the operator, "Look here, miss, do you know who I am?"

"No," she replied calmly, "but I now where you are."

When the new patient was comfortably settled on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I’m not aware of your problem," the doctor said.

"So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."

"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

Bob went to watch a famous football match in a jam-packed stadium. After much trouble he could find only one empty seat in the stadium. He asked the gentleman sitting next to the empty seat: "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said no. Bob said: "This is incredible! Who in his right mind would have booked this seat and not use it?"

The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first football match we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967." "Well, that’s really sad," Bob said, "but still, couldn’t you find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat?" "No," the man replied, "they’re all at her funeral."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma