WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Parrot talk

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, “Want to have a little fun?” She was talking to her preacher one day about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. The females yelled at the male parrots, “Want to have a little fun?”

One male parrot said to the other, “Put the Bible away. Our prayers have been answered.”

Costly affair

A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby.

After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm. “Fancy meeting my wife here,” he says to the clerk. “Guess I’ll need a double room for the night.” Next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000.

“What’s the meaning of this?” he yells at the clerk. “I’ve only been here one night.” “Yes,” says the clerk, “but your wife has been here for three weeks.”

Just the job

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The personnel manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee’s pay.  

She said, “My last employer gave full health coverage, as well as five years’ salary for life insurance and a month’s  sick leave and they paid the full premiums.” “I can’t help but asking, madam, why you would leave a job with such benefits,” the interviewer replied. The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, “The company went bankrupt.”  

Right number

A woman was at home when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something and seized the telephone table, which fell over with a crash. As it fell, it hit the family dog, which leaped up, howling.

The woman’s three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colourful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband’s voice on the other end say, “Nobody’s said hello yet, but it certainly sounds as if I have the right number.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma