WEBSIDE HUMOUR

Telling looks

"Now, that looks like a happily married couple," remarks the husband.

"Don’t be too sure, my dear. They are probably saying the same thing about us," replied his wife.

The new army recruit was serving his first guard duty. He did his best for a while but about 5 am he went to sleep. When he opened his eyes, he found the day officer standing before him. Remembering the stiff penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this clever young man kept his head bowed for another moment, then looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men

In an office a working lady bragged about her children’s world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and her daughter was completing`A0a yearlong research project in Sweden. 

One co-worker’s quip, however, stopped her short. "What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away?"

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. "Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight."

When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, "Not really, for I usually stay up and practise my trumpet till about that time almost every night anyway."

A marine biologist was telling his friends about some of his`A0most recent research findings. "Some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles," he said.

"What the heck would one whale say to another 300 miles`A0away?" asked his sarcastic friend.

"I can’t be sure," he expert said, "but it sounds something`A0like ‘Can you hear me now?’"

A member of the faculty in a London medical college was appointed an honorary physician to the king.

He proudly wrote a notice on the blackboard in his classroom: "Professor Jennings informs his students that he has been appointed honorary physician to His Majesty, King George."

When he returned to the classroom in the afternoon he found written below his note: "God save the king."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma