WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Amen!

A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?” She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?” From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.”

New role

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. “Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.”

Pet peeve

Freddie ran into the kitchen crying and cradling something in his hands. “Mommy, my turtle is dead,” Freddie told his mother as he held the turtle out to her.

His mother kissed him on the head, then said, “That’s all right. We’ll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box then have a nice burial ceremony in the backyard. After that, we’ll go out for an ice-cream soda, and then get you a new pet. I don’t want you.…”

Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. “Freddie, your turtle is not dead after all.”

“Oh,” the boy said. “Can I kill it?”

Grave error

A lawyer’s wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, “Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.”

Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears. His brother says, “You should cry, pulling a stunt like this.” Through his tears, Murray croaks, “You don’t understand. They left out the phone number.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma