WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Spirited reply

A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old European castle. At the end of the tour the guide asks her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages.

"Don’t worry" says the guide, "I’ve never seen a ghost all the time I’ve been here".

"How long is that?" asks the girl.

"About three hundred years."

A couple was talking about their love and then marriage at a party when the husband said in a grim voice: "I knew at the wedding day itself how my married life would be like.

When the minister asked my wife "Do you take this man to be your husband?" And she said, "I do."

Then the minister asked me, "Do you take this woman to be your wife?" and my wife said, "He does."

A man joined a multi-national company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly."

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension. Do you know who you’re talking to?"

"No", replied the trainee.

"It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot."

The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?"

"No," replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God," replied the trainee and put down the phone.

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse’s office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pyjamas.

"Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her.

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I’ve come to spend the day with him."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma