Tips for those difficult office talks

If you want to win people over, you can’t come across as bossy. Here are language tips for those tricky conversations.

Addressing a problem: Steer clear of accusatory statements like, "You were late again,"says Pat Lupino, who teaches marketing management. Instead, let the person know you are aware of the problem, that it’s not acceptable and you want to help solve it. Say something like, "I notice you still seem to be coming in late. Is there a problem I should know about?"

Keeping focused: Lupino, in her 20 years as an executive with major consumer product companies, says she’s admired how lawyers redirect ‘runaway’ conversations. They’ll say, "That’s interesting, but let’s stop a minute and get back to the issue." Or, "I’m not sure we need to deal with that right now. Let’s move on to this point."

Delivering bad news: Allow the person dignity: Don’t deliver potentially upsetting news in the hall or as you’re dashing off to a meeting, Lupino says.

Instead, decide what you need to say, write out a script and practice. You might use this type of phrasing: "I know you’ve enjoyed working on this project, but we’re behind and I need to move Mary to the team, so I’m putting you on this other project. I know it’s disappointing, but I’m asking for your support in this new role."

— Patricia Kitchen LA Times-Washington Post