World without manners
Aradhika

Talk to the Hand
by Lynne Truss.
Profile/Viva Books
Rs 295. Pages 214.

Talk to the HandTalk to the hand coz the face ain’t listening", says Lynne Truss, whose book is a heartfelt appeal against "the utter bloody rudeness of everyday life".

The book is remarkably topical, the author absolutely on the ball and she can make the reader so completely identify with the situations that she finds herself in and her own reactions to the same that it feels like a first-hand experience.

When the author gives her "six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door," she is so totally convincing that by the end of the book, don’t be too surprised if you find yourself looking for a lock to put on your door.

Lynne Truss explains that Talk to the Hand is not a book about manners. It’s about the rudeness of today’s world, and the sense of outrage that overcomes us everyday as we discover that other people are, generally, crass, selfish and inconsiderate. Still, the book is not a rant against modern etiquette but more of an analysis about "an automatic eruption of outrage and frustration that can at best cloud an otherwise lovely day and at worse make you resolve to chuck yourself off the nearest bridge."

However, she does admit that manners are subjective—if we ourselves are punctilious about certain things, e.g. thank-you notes, we’ll be outraged if others don’t follow the same route. Thus, our dictum becomes a great indicator of social virtue. "Basically," says Truss, "everyone else has bad manners, we have occasional bad moments. Everyone else is rude; we are sometimes a bit preoccupied."

In truth, there are the daily irritants that grate terribly on our nerves, which Truss is holding up to scrutiny. If she narrates personal incidents about modern communication technology whereby wherever you turn for help you find yourself on your own, you can certainly relate a similar incident that has recently stressed you out! To give you an example—just try to book movie tickets on the telephone!

Then there is the ‘space’ or privacy issue for which she majorly blames the advent of the mobile phone. "We are forced to listen, open-mouthed, to other people’s intimate conversations, property transactions, business arrangements and even criminal deals." People chat in cinemas and theatres and lovers glare at you while they make out in public parks where you are talking your daily constitutional. "We have thus; become victims of a communication network that respects no boundaries."

Then of course, there is, what Truss calls, "the universal eff-off reflex". If you point out bad manners to someone or you object to something or someone damaging public property, you may well be roundly abused for your effort. Authority is often disrespected, whether of a teacher, parent or a judge at a TV show.

Yet, the irony is that universally, manners have not declined. And still, for most people, the world has become a ruder place. Words that are essential for daily social commerce- words like ‘thank you’, ‘please’, ‘excuse me’ are on the downward swing while ‘sorry’ may well be on its way to extinction!

Politeness, explains Truss, is a signal of readiness to meet someone half way. It serves the twin purpose of mankind society coherent as well as keeping other people at arm’s length. And that’s why the prospect of losing it totally is frightening.

The prevalent attitude of non-accountability is another good reason to stay home and bolt the door. "Who dares to be public spirited these days?" demands the author. There aren’t many of us who act on society’s behalf. "Nothing to do with me!" is usually our attitude when we see litter in a park, while we consider ourselves virtuous for having thrown our own litter in the bins provided in public areas.

"Is there any chance of a general return to the idea that the individual just owes something to the world around him?" asks the author. Finally, Truss has the reader agreeing with Pascal who said: "I have discovered that all human misery comes from a single thing, which is not knowing enough to stay quietly in your room."

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