WEBSIDE HUMOUR

Good delivery

In a remote rural village, a man’s wife went into labour in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Whoa there,” said the doctor, “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there’s yet another one to come.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern. It seems there’s yet another one in there!” cried the doctor. The backwoods man scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor, “Do you think it’s the light what’s attracting them?”

Devilish lies

A man was going to attend a Halloween party dressed in a costume of the devil. On his way it began to rain, so he darted into a church where a revival meeting was in progress. At the sight of his devil’s costume, people began to scatter through the doors and windows.

One lady got her coat sleeve caught on the arm of one of the seats and, as the man came closer, she pleaded, “Satan, I’ve been a member of this church for 20 years, but I’ve really been on your side all the time.”

Loud complaint

“This hotel stinks,” a guest complained when he showed up at the reception of a hotel to check out.   “What’s wrong?” the reception clerk asked.  

“I got no sleep. Every 15 minutes this loud banging sound woke me up.” The receptionist apologised for the noise and checked him out. A few minutes later, a couple showed up. The hotel receptionist asked them how their stay was. “Terrible!” they said. “The guy in the next room was snoring so loudly that we had to bang on the wall every 15 minutes to wake him up.”

Faking it

At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call John into his office. “It has not escaped my attention,” he pointed out, “that every time there’s a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor.” “You know you’re right, sir,” exclaimed John. “I didn’t realise it. You don’t suppose she’s faking it, do you?”

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma