WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Cool captain

A shipping company employed a licensed boat captain to man its vessel. After he had joined his duties, it was learnt that the captain couldn’t swim. When the other staff learned of this, they approached him about it.

"Is it true?" one of them asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can’t swim?"

"No, I can’t," he replied. "Can pilots fly?"

Surprise gift

A man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he’d like a bottle of Chanel #5 for his wife’s birthday.

"A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk.

"You bet," answered the customer. "She’s expecting a diamond necklace."

Costly fare

A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called the plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, repaired the pipe, and handed the doctor a bill for $ 600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor."

"Yeah," the plumber replied philosophically, "neither did I when I was a doctor."

Paradise lost

A married business executive had to make a trip to Palm Beach alone for his corporation. After a few days, he was enjoying himself so much that he decided to stay another week as part of his vacation. Wanting to share this newly discovered paradise, he wired his bachelor friend: "Take the next plane for a fun week on me. Bring my wife and your mistress."

His friend was quick to wire back: "Your wife and I arriving tomorrow 11:30 a.m. How long have you known about us?

Compiled by Sunil Sharma