WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Record of sorts

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme?’" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children." "Is that a record?" the caller inquired, puzzled in turn.`A0`A0

"I don’t think so," replied the man, "but it’s as close as`A0I could go."

There was a man who travelled all around the world.`A0Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop, he found a parrot that spoke 30 different languages.`A0He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother. A few days later, he called his mother.`A0"Did you like the parrot?" he asked her.

"Oh yes," she replied.`A0 "It was delicious."

"What," the man cried.`A0 "You ate it.`A0 That parrot wasn’t for you to eat.`A0 It spoke 30 languages."

The mother paused for a moment and then said, "So why didn’t he say something?"

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later, the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued: "Physics saves lives because it keeps certain people out of medical school."

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her 21-year-old roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That’s a very expensive classic car. What’s so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma