WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Ass you like it

A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard.  He had no idea how it got there but he knew that he had to get rid of it. So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies but no one seemed able to help him. In desperation, he called the mayor and asked what should be done.  The mayor must have been having a bad day. “Why bother me?” he asked.  “You’re a clergyman. It’s your job to bury the dead.” The pastor lost his cool.  “Yes,” he snapped, “But I thought I should at least notify the next of kin.”

Last wish

Jim’s doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left. “All I want,” Jim tells his beloved wife, “is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon.” Which is exactly what they did. But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she’s tired and wants to go to sleep.  “Oh, come on,” Jim whispers in her ear. “Look,” his wife snaps, “I’ve got to get up in the morning. You don’t!”

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma