Webside humour
Valuable tip

A woman said to her friend, "I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place. I am always going around the house organising things." 

The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place’."

The first woman asked, "Did it help?"

Her friend said, "I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since."

Two peasants got into an argument over which is more important to the world: the sun or the moon. They put the problem to their village council. The elders deliberated over the question for many hours before they pronounced in favour of the moon in sound logic: "If there was no moon, we would not be able to see anything at night. The sun shines only during the day when we need no light."

A young lady to her friends: "You know I have never been kissed by any man except my husband."

One friend: "Are you boasting or complaining?"

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. "No, it’s not the usual caps-lock problem. The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password."

"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ.

He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his face.   "I’ll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the most attractive wives."   His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear."

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail."

The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?"

"Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma