Webside humour
Saviour of sorts

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a swimming pool, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office.

"Haroldson, your records and your heroic behaviour indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn’t kill himself," Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle. At the end of the tour, the guide asks her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages.

"Don’t worry" says the guide, "I’ve never seen a ghost all the time I’ve been here."

"How long is that?" asks the girl. "About three hundred years."

Mistaken identity

A man standing in line at a check-out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" He gave her that "who are you look" but couldn’t remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologised. "Look," she said "I’m really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded. "I don’t remember her," he thought but, maybe....during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in college, he did father her child. He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really drunk and had a brief stint?"

"No," she said with a horrified look on her face. "I’m your son’s second grade teacher."

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight, and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."

"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma