Webside humour
Lost fight

A man hobbled into his house and was greeted by his wife. "Dear", she said, startled, "what are you doing home so early?"

"The boss and I had a fight," he grumbled. "He would not take back what he said." Glowing with pride, his wife asked, "What did he say?"

The husband shrugged. "You’re fired."

Looking down at his patient, the doctor decided to tell him the truth. "I feel that I must tell you: You are a very sick man. I’m sure you would want to know the facts. I don’t think you have much time left. Now, is there anyone you would like to see?"

Bending down toward the sick man, the doctor heard him softly answer, "Yes." "Who is it?" In a little stronger tone, the patient said, "Another doctor."

Two blond friends applied for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, one gets called in for his interview. The boss asked him if he had worked in underground mines before? He said that he had. The boss asked him how deep underground he worked? "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet," he replied. The boss said, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here — you’re no miner." On his way out, he told his friend to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. The boss asked the other if he had worked underground mines before? He said, "Oh sure."

The boss asked how deep underground he worked. He said, "I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground."

The boss said, "20,000 feet, wow! That is incredible, what kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground?" The blond said, "Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift."

A man walked into the office of an eminent psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor!  I’ve got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog.  It’s crazy.  I don’t know what to do." "A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax.  Come here and lie down on the couch."

"Oh no, doctor," the man said nervously, "I’m not allowed up on the furniture."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma