THIS ABOVE ALL
Desperately seeking publicity
Khushwant Singh

Our politicians are so eager to remain in the news that no sooner than an occurrence takes place, without bothering to look into the facts, without considering the merits of the case, they rush to make statements to the media.

The more outrageous their utterances, the better their chances of making it to front pages of newspapers and prime time on TV channels. They are equally eager to contradict what they said earlier or complain they had been quoted out of context. More publicity. When they discover they had got it all wrong, they observe maun vrat for a while and wait for the next occurrence to shoot their mouths off again.

Two examples of recent times are the arrests of the Sankaracharya of Kanchipuram and his deputy and the hoo haa over charges against Bibi Jagir Kaur, President of the SGPC. As soon as they heard of warrants of arrest being issued against the Sankaracharya, leaders of the Sangh Parivar denounced it as an assault on Hindu dharma. Front page. Some flew down to Kanchipuram to be photographed touching the feet of the seer and assuring him of their full support. This time on the front page with photographs and exhaustive coverage on TV channels. The man had been charged with abetting murder, paying huge sums of money from math funds to hired assassins and propositioning women devotees. When all this came out, the self-proclaimed protectors of the Hindu dharma fell silent. Their purpose had been served.

It was somewhat the same in the case of Bibi Jagir Kaur. Her involvement in the mysterious death of her daughter, who married someone against her wishes, is under investigation. She is now being questioned for fudging accounts and has been suspended from her post. Notwithstanding the charges, one faction of the Akali party declared it as an attack on the Sikh panth. And got the media coverage they wanted.

These antics are performed by politicians out of power. Those who have kursis large enough to accommodate their fat bottoms ensure that their publicity departments use public funds lavishly to buy spaces in leading journals to carry their photographs along with those of Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to extol the wonderful work they are doing for the uplift of the poor. Narendra Modi of Gujarat used the pictures of Mahatma Gandhi, alongside his own, to prove that he was a devout chela of Bapu. Have they no shame?

Life of a yogi

It was my first meeting with a yogi who spends his life in a cave overlooking the Ganga near its birthplace, Gangotri. I record as honestly as I can our dialogue with some mirch-masala permitted to a scribe. Needless to say, I cannot divulge his name.

One morning my phone rang and a male voice at the other end asked if he could speak to me. I replied that it was I he was speaking to. "Hari Om Tat Sat," he greeted me loudly. I responded with equal gusto: "Hari Om Tat Sat." He asked if he could drop in for a few minutes to discuss some spiritual matters with me. He had evidently read something written by me. I was flattered. He also knew I was a nastik (a non-believer).

A few minutes later, my door-bell rang. I opened the door to let him in. He was a stockily built young man, in his late thirties, passably handsome with large lustrous eyes, sporting a small clipped beard and clad in a saffron one-piece cloth which covered most of his body. As he took his seat, I asked him: "Swamiji, tell me something about yourself; where are you from and what made you turn into a yogi?"

He replied: "I am from Kurukshetra. I went to school and college there. Right from the beginning I was interested in spiritual matters and studied yoga. I decided to turn into a yogi. I found a gufa (cave) near Gangotri and decided to make it my home."

"It must be hard living alone with no one to look after you," I interjected. "I took a servant with me to cook for me. We took provisions for six months on a pack of mules. During the winter, the snow cut us off from the rest of the world. Come to think of it, items like rice, flour, dals, ghee, salt and spices are all satvik food; one can do without fresh vegetables or fruit for many months."

"What did you do all day?" "Yoga abhyaas and read books I take with me. I wrote two myself in Hindi and English. I get a little income from their sales. It is enough for me." "What did you get from all this tapasya" I asked. He paused a while before replying. "I found that pranayam is the basis of yoga. Without pranayam no amount of chanting of mantras is of any effect."

I was out of my depth. I did not know pranayam and the only mantra I know by heart is the Gayatri without being clear about its meaning. I changed the subject to one closer to my heart. "Swamiji, have you taken a vow of celibacy? Are you a brahmachari?" He smiled and took his time to reply. "I am not a grihasthi (householder) with wife and children. About brahmacharya, I am not sure."

"What do you mean?"

"You see at times foreign women tourists come to see what kinds of lives we yogis living in caves lead. Some are bold enough to ask for sambandh (union) with them to preserve in their memories. One such woman came my way. Main nay unko bhog lagaaya."

I was charmed by the expression; not a vulgar four letter word in English or equally coarse words in Indian languages, but sex as an act of worship: Bhog to the goddess of erotica. The only snag is that while stone goddesses are impassive receivers of adoration and prasad, human goddesses are expected to take an equal part in these rites of worship.

The foreign lady recipient of Swamiji’s favours passed the word round to her friends. So while he dwells in a Himalayan cave, he manages to get the best of both the worlds.

Sign outside a radio shop:

"Our business is sound"

"We are prompt, no matter how long it takes."

"You married me because I had money," complained the wife.

"No, honey. I married you because I didn’t have."

(Contributed by K.J.S. Ahluwalia, Amritsar)