When Freddy gave his motorbike keys away

Jinal Shah meets a Mumbai family for whom June 23 brings back painful memories

FREDDY Balsara was a hit at the Mahim Parsi Colony in north central Mumbai.

He helped the neighbourhood kids with their studies and threw parties for them when they passed their exams. He regaled his brother Perci and sister-in-law Veronica by doing push-ups with his head on the floor. Before leaving for Canada to meet his fiancee and her family, Freddy had promised to celebrate his nephew’s birthday on his return. And assured his niece a treat for passing her board exams.

An acquaintance first informed the Balsaras about the Kanishka disaster.

"But when we called the officials, Freddy’s name wasn’t on the list," says Veronica. "Our hopes were high, we thought maybe Freddy never boarded the flight."

Then came the fateful call from Freddy’s fiancee in Canada who confirmed she had seen him off at the airport. Immediately, Freddy’s brothers flew to Ireland.

"We stayed there for a month, but Freddy’s body was never discovered," says Perci, who works with Air-India.

"In the beginning, every time the doorbell rang, we would wonder if it was Freddy," says Veronica. Even after accepting Freddy’s loss, the family felt his presence around them for a while.

"He enjoyed talking about spirituality. I don’t know if this is my imagination but at some point, everyone in our family has felt his presence and has had a glimpse of his silhouette."

Freddy was fond of wearing big flip-flops that made noise when he walked. "I used to hear him walking around the house at nights, sometimes I’d get a whiff of his aftershave."

Especially every year around Freddy’s birthday in November, his presence was more pronounced.

"It was comforting. None of us were ever scared," says Veronica. For the last couple of years, she hasn’t felt Freddy’s presence as strongly. For Freddy, his motorbike and his music collection were his dearest possessions.

"He never gave his motorbike keys to anyone," says Veronica, a ballet teacher.

Freddy would play rock n’ roll at a very high volume while washing his clothes.

"He said the louder the music, the faster he washed his clothes," Veronica laughs at the memory. She and Perci still talk about Freddy as though he is away on a vacation.

"Before leaving for Canada, Freddy did a few unusual things," says Veronica. It was almost as though he had a premonition.

"He gave his motorbike keys to Perci and said, you keep them. And then he asked to wear Perci’s shirt."

Flying to international destinations was common for Freddy and his family had gotten used to it. Yet that day, he asked Veronica to stand in the balcony and wave at him as he left.

"I thought that was very odd," says Veronica. As Freddy left in a taxi, the light from the lamp-post reflected on his watch and it glittered. "That’s the last memory I have of him. I remember it very strongly."

Like other despairing families, the Balsaras are enraged with the acquittal of the two accused Ripudaman Singh Malik and Ajaib Singh Bagri. "How can they investigate for 20 years and say they don’t have enough evidence?" asks Veronica. "Entire families have been wiped out in that crash. I only pray to God to give them rest."

Yvonne, the daughter of one of Veronica’s friends, was also on the flight. "She was such a pretty girl and when they found her body, there was not a single bruise on her face. Even her watch was intact."

Yvonne’s mother was a widow and Yvonne was her only child. Shattered, Yvonne’s mother left Mumbai and now lives in Mangalore.

"I just don’t understand how someone can kill so many innocent people," says Veronica.

Every year on June 23, the Balsaras light candles and pray for Freddy. But there are no garlanded pictures of him on their walls.

"We remember him in our minds. We don’t feel like he is dead, he is just away," says Veronica. After his death for a few months, Veronica let his belongings be where they were. Eventually they gave away his clothes and returned to his fiancée all the letters she had written to him. They haven’t heard from her since.

"As for his music, we listen to it. He was very meticulous and on everything he owned, he had his name labelled." Even today when the Balsaras play Boy George or Elvis, it makes them smile.

"There’s only one thing I have always wondered for the last 20 years," says Veronica.

"I wonder what the people who have done this feel. What is their mindset? Do they feel remorse? Or are they happy with what they have done?"

Courtsey: India Abroad, Toronto

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