Webside humour
Doc in the dock

An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you’ve been giving to Mrs Smith." "Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor’s orders?" The old man says, "Since he found out I’ve been on birth control pills."

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. Actually I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going." The second old guy says, ’s okay, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate." The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?" The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, slim, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, very attractive, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?" To which the first old guy says, "Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours."

A man was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent’s hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After the owner read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all you say there?"

The agent said, "Certainly ye have. Why do you ask?" The owner replied, "Cancel the sale. This is too good to part with."

Once torrential rainstorms had knocked down power lines in most parts of the town. A very desperate woman called the customer service in the electricity department for restoring electricity. When one lineman asked her the exact address, she said, "I’m at Post Office Box 99." The weary lineman replied, "Ma’am, I’ll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope."

Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they’re airborne and the plane has levelled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a low voice, "General, United States Army, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons." After a few minutes, the man in the aisle seat states through a tightlipped smile, "General, United States Air Force, retired. Married, two sons, both judges." After some thought, the fellow in the centre seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye, he proclaims, "Master Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marine Corps, retired. Never married, two sons, both Generals!"

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign that said "Free to good home. You want it, you take it".

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal that looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse yells, "Bark!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?"

 — Compiled by Sunil Sharma