Stamped Impressions
Bridal bribery
Reeta Sharma

On the one hand Punjabi NRIs have made a place in the world for which Punjab and India take endless pride and on the other hand, some of them have also earned a notorious reputation as the most fraudulent bridegrooms. A majority of the marriages that take place in Punjab with Punjabi NRI bridegrooms turn out to be deceitful.

So far, more than 16,000 Punjabi women have been deserted by their NRI husbands, according to the police. Many of these NRIs were already married to foreign nationals and had hidden this fact from their brides. Another category of these NRIs ‘exploit’ the girls for a month or so and then desert them in Punjab. Yet another type uses their brides as ‘glorified maids’ for their parents. They are left in Punjab for years together and no immigration process is ever started for them. Quite a number of Punjabi brides are also taken along by NRIs only to be subjugated in their homes abroad. These girls are locked up in their homes and not even allowed to speak to their parents. They are often battered and made to slog like slaves.

The question that we need to address is why do Punjabi NRIs deal with the sacred institution of marriage in such an unholy manner? The answer is not difficult to fathom. The Punjabi community, however brilliant in entrepreneurship or hard work, basically remains feudalistic at heart. Even in this century, their attitude towards women continues to be exploitative. The girl child even today is unwanted in Punjab, which has the lowest sex ratio in the country.

Punjabi boys grow up thinking that it is legitimate to demand dowry. Hence, they continue to insist on dowry even when they are well settled abroad. The greed for dowry brings them to Punjab for a second, third or fourth marriage without any accountability towards the girls. Besides, they know they cannot be extradited even if the brides go to court in India.

This is only one side of the entire story. There is yet another aspect that we need to look into: the role of the parents of girls. For all these years, the parents of deserted wives have been showered with sympathy by one and all. This attitude also stems from the feudalistic way of Punjabis viewing the girls and their parents as ‘hapless’ and ‘oppressed’.

It is time to look through the cunning of girls’ parents as well. In Punjab, a majority of the parents have married their daughters to NRIs so that they could eventually arrange for the rest of the family to settle abroad as well. Otherwise, how do you explain these parents marrying their 18-year-old girls to 45-year-old NRIs? There is sufficient evidence available to prove that parents of girls in a majority of the cases were fully aware that the prospective NRI grooms were either married before or were still to get a divorce, yet they were willing to rush their daughters into matrimony with such dubious characters.

For instance, take the case of Sukhwinder Dhillon of Canada. This notorious NRI was charged as a ‘serial killer’ in the courts of Canada and has been sentenced to 128 years in jail. He married, one after another, four women from Punjab. While he killed two of these women and a close friend of his own, the third and fourth women were made to marry him by their parents. The parents of both these women were apprised of the cases of murder against him. The Canadian police had been frequenting Punjab in connection with his case and had even interacted with the parents. Yet, the parents went ahead with the marriages.

When it comes to framing or amending laws to facilitate settling of marital cases or property disputes or legal suits about children from “broken-down” marriages involving NRIs, there is now a handbook available to deal with such cases. The credit for this handbook goes to two lawyer brothers, Anil and Ranjit Malhotra, who have focused on such problems faced by Indian and NRI families living in the UK or other Commonwealth countries.

The handbook suggests that all NRI marriages should be registered to ward off bigamous practices. Though Section 8 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1956, makes registration “optional”, the Malhotras say that the registration would act as a deterrent.

The second point made by them calls for an additional ground for divorce — the dissolution of marriage on the ground of “break-down” when one of the spouses is an NRI. The third point says that whenever one of the spouses is an NRI, parallel additions must be made in the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, and the Special Marriage Act, 1954, to provide for provisions for maintenance and alimony of spouses, child custody as also settlement of matrimonial property.

In matters of succession; transfer of property; making, execution and implementation of wills; and repatriation of NRI funds, existing procedures in the states must be simplified and streamlined. Punjab, says the fourth point, has amended the East Punjab Rent Restrictions Act and The Punjab Security of Land Tenures Act for the summary trial of disputes regarding agricultural or commercial or residential properties. This must be backed by fast-track as well as family courts.

The Malhotras have also suggested that for inter-parental child abduction or removal of children to India from foreign jurisdictions against court orders, India must sign the Hague Convention on Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, 1980.

The clinical treatment for the erring NRI grooms has been very aptly presented by the two brothers. But there is no law to stop parents from exploiting their daughters for securing a bright future for their sons. For this, social reforms, awareness campaigns and awakening among girls is the only way out.