Webside humour
Second attempt

A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist.

The blonde said that she was sick of life and was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "Then you put it around your neck." The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn’t breathe."

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo. The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers were, and the youngster was taking it all in with a serious expression. "Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his  cage and ate you up..."

"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.

"What bus should I take home?"

Policy matters

Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money."

The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. The insurance company doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth."

There was a long pause, and then Susan replied, "If that’s how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband."

A kid accidentally swallowed a quarter. He went crying to his mom, choking on the quarter. They took him to a doctor, who said that the quarter was impossible to remove without surgery. They then consulted a specialist who was of the same opinion.

Then came a man who said he could get the money out in a jiffy. He turned the kid upside down and patted him with great precision on the back of the neck and, sure enough, the quarter rolled out.

Everyone was amazed, the father said, "You must be an expert."

The man replied, "No sir, I’m just a tax collector."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma