Career can be a monster

Ruby Bhatia opens her heart in a tête-à-tête with Gitanjali Sharma

THE girlish mirth has made way for the self-assured smiles of a woman. The eyes no longer dance with mischief but the hint of a twinkle is unmistakable. And, the bubbly effervescence may be missing but the fizz is intact.

This is Ruby Bhatia for you. Almost a decade after her high-flying VJ days, you catch up with a quieter and calmer Ruby. This spunky face of the ’90s is now giving direction to a new phase in her life. Shedding most of the boisterous ways of the BPL Oye girl, this 31-year-old Scorpio wants to live life on her own terms as well as draw on the strengths of silence and meditation. Passionate about philosophy, she reflects on matters anchoring her existence….

As a VJ, I’d become compulsively bubbly and seemed to be faking it all the time. Now when I get serious or am just myself, people ask me if I am tired. VJ-ing was just a stepping stone for me. It happened to me after I won the Miss India-Canada contest in 1993 and came to India. Those were the days of anchor-based programmes, then came game shows and now serials rule the prime time. I have tried my hand at serials and am currently enjoying Body
and Soul that takes me to tranquil places like Dharamsala and Rishikesh.
I find it rejuvenating.

I am told that lead roles call for long hair. If you sport short hair and western outfits, can speak fluently and know your mind, people think you are too fast — and you get to play the vamp.

I maintain my sanity in the showbiz world by treating my career as just one part of my life, not my life. My career belongs to me and not vice versa. In the entertainment industry, career tends to become a monster. I maintain my cool by not identifying myself with it. Why, if tomorrow if I’ve to take up an office job I must be prepared for it.

If I consider myself a star then that is bound to lead to stress. I try to live life as a human being. Besides searching for my identity, I am seeking comfort from meditation and strive to maintain equanimity. Earlier I would take up ten things and not one would get done well. Now I stop to consider where I’m heading. I used to chatter nonstop on the phone but now I only communicate on SMS.

As a single, I often miss having somebody who can give me a reality check. At times I go overboard with work and there’s nobody to tell me when to slacken a little. My parents are in Canada, while I live alone in Mumbai. A family provides that constant buzz and feedback. In certain ways friends provide a better support system. They don’t insist on what you should or shouldn’t do. While family is more about giving, with friends you can maintain respect and distance.

For the first time since my arrival in India, I’ve begun missing Canada. There are certainly more opportunities there. But India has its own plus points…travelling doesn’t require much money here. And, I love visiting new places.

The stamp of a divorcee was more painful than my marriage going awry. It was my ego that caused me pain. Society is quick to label you in this country. They link you with anybody they see you with. Hence, it pays to be inwardly independent. I also ignore and disregard the comforting talk by the so-called well-wishers when they assume you are short of work.

In India, one finds it difficult to break the barriers of prejudice. As a divorcee, I have to consciously try to remain unaffected by believing in myself. I behave like a man when I have to, especially when I’m travelling alone at night. My tone changes as I confidently give directions to the taxi driver. I also pick up my bags and prefer to dress up in trousers rather than skirts. I’m literally wearing the pants so to speak.

In India most women concentrate on their beauty rather than health. I’m glad my parents made me learn dance when I was just five. This gave me a taste of enjoying the feeling of fitness. Now, too, I can’t do without my workouts and walks. People tell me that I’ll vanish not realising that exercising builds up strength. I dig into fruits more now, and carry an apple, orange or carrot with me.

At the end of the day what matters is I, my values and my house. I retain my middle class values. I cook my food, clean the house and am as kanjoos as any middle class Indian.

I’m introspective and can get desperate when I want to achieve anything…but I think it is difficult to define yourself in a sentence.

Nothing works like perseverance, but one should also know when to exercise which quality; when to bring which skill of yours to the fore.

Photos by Parvesh Chauhan

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