Webside humour
Golf players

Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and`A0three other men of the cloth swapped their clerical garb`A0for polos and khakis and time out on the golf course. After`A0several really horrible shots, their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn’t be priests by any chance?" "Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "How did you`A0know?" "Easy," said the caddy, "I’ve never seen such bad golf and`A0such clean language!"`A0`A0

A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals. "Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, lunch from 12 to 3, and dinner from 6 to 8," explained the clerk. "Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get time to see the city?"

Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil: "The moon."

Teacher: "Why?"

Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it."

A blond man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later, he calls the desk and says, "You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?"

The desk clerk says, "Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?" The man says, "Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it."

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun."It’s for my husband," she tells the clerk.

"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.

"Are you kidding?" she says. . .

"He doesn’t even know that I’m going to shoot him!"

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.’"

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."

While the stock market was at an all-time high, the ups and downs frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and ask if he were worried. the adviser replied that he slept like a baby. The guy was amazed and asked, "Really? Even with all the fluctuations? "He said, "Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours."

Grandpa was driving with his nine-year-old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident."

She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."

He replied, "How did you know?" She said, "Because you didn’t say ‘idiot’ afterwards."

"Get this", said the bloke to his mates, "Last night, while I was down at the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house."
"Did he get anything?" his mates asked.

"Yeah, a broken jaw, and six teeth knocked out. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma