Webside humour
Ashamed

A candidate was being interviewed for a managerial post. At the conclusion of the interview the employer said, "Please don’t tell anyone what we’re paying you."

"Don’t worry sir," the candidate replied. "I’m as ashamed of my salary as you are."

A young lad was obsessed with the bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother tried to cajole or bribe him to break the habit, but to no avail. Finally, she saw a man who was grossly overweight. "There", she said, "is what you will look like because you suck your thumb!" The little boy was shocked and quit sucking his thumb almost immediately.

A little later in the day, while in the supermarket, the boy saw a very pregnant woman. He just couldn’t take his eyes off of her swollen abdomen. And this bothered her. "Little boy," she scolded, "you don’t even know me, yet you are constantly staring at me. Please stop." To which he replied, "I may not know you, lady, but I sure know what you’ve been doing."

Two men were talking about the secret of a long and happy marriage.
"Our marriage," said one "is built on trust and understanding." "My wife doesn’t trust me and I don’t understand her."

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to church. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the priest went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the priest asked, "How come after all these years we don’t see you at church anymore?"

The old man looked around and lowered his voice. "I’ll tell you, sir," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must’ve forgotten about me, and I don’t want to remind Him."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma