Sight & Sound
The irksome K-serials
Amita Malik

THE other day, I was lunching with a friend I consider amongst the most sophisticated people I know. Educated, widely travelled, good at her profession, a loving wife and mother. But as the clock showed 2.15 pm, she started looking at her watch and fidgeting like a teenager. " I must rush. I can’t miss The Bold and the Beautiful and she went off like a tornado. My less sophisticated friends used to behave similarly to see what some of them called "Shanta" Barbara or Shanti Barbara, the first foreign soap which changed the face of Indian TV and ushered us into the Soap Age.

Now either you like soaps or you don’t, and I belong to the second category. Or, should I say I don’t like most of them, and give up seeing them after a few episodes. I find them contrived, poorly directed and acted, clogged with long advertisements and dominated by unrealistic and sloppy plots. But since I have been accused of being a snob, and a professional critic has a duty, I reluctantly but carefully watch a few episodes of the K soaps by Ekta Kapoor which follow each other endlessly on. I watched Kasauti, Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi and the lot. And I will now list for you what seems to be common to all of them: family feuds and intrigues with endless and, sometimes, unbelievable twists. The good men and bad guys (with little French beards) can be easily spotted.

The production values do not vary. A large part of the budget is obviously spent on make-up and costumes. With not a hair out of place, the women get out of their beds in the morning with their make-up intact.

But the traditional touches go awry. Smriti Irani’s sindoor, according to Hindu custom, should be on the parting of the hair. Instead, it is made with lipstick, on her forehead and far away from her parting. The women wear designer sarees, with not a pleat out of place. The men wear impeccable suits and ties or designer kurtas. The rooms are always neat and tidy and look like a furniture shop.

The serials have non-stop sound and loud music. The loud sounds range from drumbeats to thuds. Emotions are conveyed by repeated close-ups of faces.

The dialogue is kept to the minimum and usually without dramatic nuances or professional finesse. The Indian viewer must be very patient and, indeed, not at all critical to have sent such soaps to the top of the pops, considering Indian TV has had good serials on Doordarshan and other channels.

Let us hope the Jassis and Simrans will eventually cut down to size the K serials.

Meanwhile, Mandira Bedi has changed to halter tops. And it was noticeable that the ICC South Africa – West Indies match had a competent and genuine woman commentator who made Mandira look what she is — a bait for the voyeurs and not cricket lovers. The best comment I heard on her from an exasperated cricket lover was: "Mandira Bedi sounds best when she is silent". And so say all of us.

Election fever was rising on the screen as I was writing this column. Maharashtra elections will once again put to test expertise as well as the effects of speculation on the print and electronic media.

I sometimes think if TV channels devoted as much time to investigative stories about matters of social importance as they do to crime it would make a vast difference to society. While NDTV dwells on the underprivileged in India Matters, See TV has kept up a steady flow of investigative stories. I particularly remember a horrifying investigation of fake medicines and dangerous medicines sold without prescriptions. We need regular series on all channels on these evils.