Showering compliments on someone is passé now. It is nothing more than chamchagiri or a practical lesson memorised from a book of etiquettes. But discouraging your colleague, friend or relative is the new trend and is a rapidly growing skill. Be it any meeting, conference or a party you can spot the champion of this art, caustically deflating the egos of almost all bystanders just to keep himself happy and bubbly. The day you find yourself looking fresh, attractive and presentable in the mirror, you are sure to meet this great discourager who is probably 10 years older to you say, "Uncleji/auntyji, you are looking simply superb today!" The word uncleji or auntyji is carefully chosen and it rightly finds its mark. If two women of the same age happen to meet each other for the first time, they will eye each other and will hasten to call the other woman aunty. Who does it first, is the ultimate winner, as she automatically becomes the younger one. Besides age, the other great discouraging tool is to comment on someone’s weight. "Oh my God, you have put on so much of weight! Why don’t you go on a diet? Have you tried joining a gym?" It’s another matter that this great ego deflater is himself/herself shapeless after a regular intake of chicken tikka and aloo chat. Even the children are in the fray now. In schools and colleges, some of the clever but not so studious children are in the habit of discouraging their classmates, "Where did you get this outdated bike from? Your hairstyle is so primitive! You are so good in cricket but your bowling action is so jerky!" The less-spirited and more sensitive students get so disturbed and discouraged that it affects their studies too. These children should understand that the great discouragers are only doing so to keep their egos intact. |