Webside humour
Young love

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me anymore..."

"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."

Smart soldier

On a train, a soldier, his commanding officer, a young girl and an old woman were travelling together. Suddenly, the lights went off, a kiss and then a slap in the face sounded, and then the lights were on again. The old woman thought, "This girl hardly realises how lucky she is. If he kissed me, I would kiss him back rather than slap him in the face."

The girl thought, "What a pervert! I'm young and pretty but he kissed that old monkey rather than me."

The officer thought, "What the hell! This my fool of a soldier kissed the girl but she slapped me in the face instead!" The soldier thought, ‘How smart I am! Look how I kissed my own hand and then slapped my commander on his face and got away with it.’

Stop sign

A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space.

Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.

"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.

She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine ?"

Empty head

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet arn't empty."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma