Webside humour
Punishment

A teacher in the class on ancient history asked a student: "Who was the first man on the earth?"

"Adam", the student replied.

"And to what severe punishment had God subjected him?" "Eve", pat came the reply.

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

A husband and wife went to the fair grounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked.

"Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once."

There was a blonde who wanted to measure a ladder. He leaned the ladder against the wall and started measuring the ladder with a tape as he climbed up the ladder. A little boy saw him half up the ladder and wondered what he was doing or rather, trying to do.

Little boy: "Hi. What are you doing sir"?

Blonde:"I'm trying to measure the ladder."

Little boy: "Why did you have to lean the ladder against the wall to measure it? Why not place the ladder on the ground and measure it."

Blonde burst into laughter and said "You fool. I'm trying to measure the height and not the length".

A husband is about to leave on a business trip:

"Honey, if my business requires me to stay longer in that town, I'll send you a telegram." "Don't bother, dear. I read it already — it's in the pocket of your coat."

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to New York City's Hospital and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma