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We are at a crossroad where we see a signpost reading: "BRUSHWOOD GULCH: X MILES". The sign is loose on the post, so that it swings with the wind. Laurel and Hardy enter with the donkey. Laurel looks at the sign; it is pointing to the left. He turns and looks off in that direction. The wind shifts the sign. Stan looks up at it and it is now pointing to the right. They both start off in different directions, and a controversy arises as to the right road. Olly: "This is the way." Stan: "Uh, uh. It’s this way." Olly: "Can’t you read? We have to go the way that sign points." This argument culminates when they both look at the sign and see that it has now swung back in the direction from which they came. As they look at the sign, it swings again. They realise what is wrong, but are left very much in doubt as to the right direction to Brushwood Gulch. Olly: "Now we don’t know which way to go." Stan: "Let’s go this way." Olly: "Why should we go that way, when it might be this way?" This puzzles Stan for a moment. An Indian Brave enters the scene. Stan walks over to him. Stan: "Pardon me, Mister, but which way is right?" The Indian grunts and points to the right, then exits out of scene. Stan turns to Olly, very satisfied. Stan: "You see, I was right. It’s that way." Olly: "That’s all I wanted to know. They start out of there. At another section of the road, we pick up the Sheriff riding towards them. As he comes near, he reins his horse. Sheriff: "Whoa!" He speaks to someone out of sight. Sheriff: "Where you headed for, strangers?" Olly: "We’re on our way to Brushwood Gulch." Sheriff: "Well, you’ll never get there that way, because it’s that way." He indicates the other road. Olly: "Thank you very much." The sheriff continues on his way. Olly gives Stan a dirty look. Olly: "You see how dumb you are? I don’t believe you even know that Lincoln is no longer the President." Stan: "I certainly do. I knew it a week ago." Olly: "Well, you didn’t know it was that way." Olly points and Stan happens to turn his face into Olly’s hand, causing him to get a poke in the nose. Stan becomes a little sore at this and grabbing hold of Olly’s nose pretends to pull it off and shows it to Olly between his fingers. Olly takes it big. Olly: "Oh, give that back." It’s a dummy. Stan holds it out of his reach and Olly gets so angry that he picks up a rock. Stan: "Don’t you dare hit me." Hardy deliberately throws the stone just wide of the target and at the same time kicks Laurel in the fanny when he turns his back on him to protect himself from the missile. Suddenly, Sheriff’s voice erupts sharply from behind. "Stick ‘em up! That’s no way to settle an argument." Stan: "Oh, we were doing nothing. We are like brothers." Sheriff: "So I see." Olly: "No really, we didn’t mean to hurt each other." Sheriff: "From where have you brought these two fools?" Olly: "That, Sir, is Laurel and that’s our donkey." Sheriff: "I wasn’t talking to you. I asked that to the donkey. Now go your way, peacefully." Stan: "I’m not going with him." Olly: "Oh yeah, I’m not going with you either." Stan: "You forget, we have only one donkey." "I am certain that I’m not going to ride with you at least." The argument reaches nowhere for a long time. Finally, they agree to travel as follows: Laurel rides the donkey for some time, then ties it down and continues walking in the same direction, while Hardy follows him on foot. Eventually, he finds the donkey and rides it until he overtakes Stan. Then he gives the donkey to Stan. At long last, they reach outside Brushwood Gulch. Stan and Olly are still not speaking to each other. Finally, Stan speaks: "Assuming that we walk with the same speed and ride faster than we walk, what is the speed of our travel?" Olly: "You think anyone can answer that?" Stan: "No." "See, then who’s more smart?" "You Olly, I knew you would talk to me." (Stan: "Olly still hasn’t given me the answer; can you? Write at Mind Games, Saturday Extra, The Tribune, or aditya@tribunemail.com. The answer will be revealed six weeks from now.") |
