Webside humour
Exercise

A man was showing his friend a new set of matching golf clubs he had just bought. "Doctor’s orders," the man told his friend. "My wife and I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs."

"What did you buy your wife?" the friend asked.

The man said, "A new matching bicycle and a lawn mower."

A bus full of passengers was heading for its destination when suddenly it stopped with a jerk due to some problem in the engine. The bus driver announced, "I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen, we seem to be having a little difficulty with the bus. I’m afraid we’ll have to pull over." A man in utter desperation got up and said, "This is just great. My day couldn’t be worse." An older woman sitting next to him whispered, "Oh, yes, young man, it could. We could have been on a plane."

Salute

In a military academy, a civilian chemistry teacher was very conscious of cadets saluting him. One evening he complained to a colleague: "I really can’t understand it. When I’m alone no one salutes me; when I’m with my wife, half the academy salutes me; and when I’m with my daughter, every cadet salutes me".

A woman went to the mall last week to buy Valentine's cards for her daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded her. She muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have anything for ex-husbands."

The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes, they do have an 'ex' category, but they're in Sporting Goods."

"Really?"

"Yes ma'am. They're called darts."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma