MIND GAMES
Bad feeling
Aditya Rishi

"READ my lips... no, no, no, no new taxes," says the President. The sudden upswing in the mood sends his popularity soaring. Elections are here and victory is not very far either, but a President can never rest assured. "Rama," he calls his deputy. "Yes, Lord." "What’s with the countrymen?" "Nothing, they are all feeling good since you ‘cut’ their taxes."

"Good, so we can look forward to being around for another term." "Not really." "Not really? What do you mean by that? Didn’t you just say the people were feeling good?" "Yeah, but that’s going to last only till Saturday." "Why do you say that?"

"I have two reasons for saying that. First, they are already drowning in taxes, and it won’t take them long to realise that you haven’t really cut the taxes, but only promised to impose no new tax. Second, our officials haven’t been paid for months. If we impose no new taxes, we cannot pay them ever."

"How can that be? You just said the country was drowning in taxes." "That’s true, but all that goes into paying your ministers." "Are you suggesting that our meagre allowances be cut?" "I’m not saying that, but then we’ll have to cut costs somewhere."

"Let’s chop the Army." "Don’t ever think of that." "Our human resource guy is here, he might have an idea." "Regarding what?" says the new minister. "Cutting costs," says the President’s deputy. "Simple, let’s kill all our talented scientists. Let’s begin with the mathematicians. They are a pain, this way we don’t have to pay them. They can see through our moves and understand taxes better. Sometimes I wonder, if all of them were sweeping the streets, this country will be a lot cleaner; they can clean well, I think that’s the job for them." President: "Good, let’s clean them up before lunch tomorrow, but then who’ll run the country." "Since when did this country need intelligent people to run its affairs?" says the new minister.

Next morning, all the nation’s scientists, led by mathematicians, are put in one line, one after another, so that the first one sees everyone ahead of him (second through last), while the second sees the third through the last one, and the last one does not see anyone. A cap cap, either saffron or green, is put on each one’s head, so that the first one knows the cap colours of rest of them, but not his own, the second knows the cap colours of the third through the last one etc. The new minister asks each scientist, starting with the first one, what colour his cap is, and if his or her guess (which all others hear) is wrong, he or she is shot. The scientists are granted one last wish. They may agree in advance on what to do. Their only aim is to somehow minimise the casualties. The future of mathematics is bleak. (Or is it? Write at Mind Games, The Tribune, or aditya@tribunemail.com. The solutions will be carried after six weeks.)