Lording over Oscar nite
Ervell E. Menezes

IT happened, as expected. Lord of the Rings : The Return of the King swept the Oscars. After all, it was the third in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and they kept it for the finale in typical Hollywood style. But did it have to be so predictable ?

Of course, you know by now I’m no great fan of J.R.R. Tolken and the opening film gave me an indication of the shape of things to come. Like, I was not impressed with Star Wars, a couple of decades ago. I always say technical wizardry shouldn’t eat into the art of story-telling, but that’s okay. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is known for its indiscretions. When director Peter Jackson received the Best Director Oscar, he said: "You’re giving us an overwhelming night." He still had to get one more, the Best Picture Oscar.
And it was like a music record getting stuck, the same old Lord of the Rings crew getting back on stage, which virtually became their home. It started with the minor Oscars, like those for sound and visual effects and it went on and on. In the end it won 11 awards, may be a record. When the Best Foreign Language Film folks took their Oscar they made a snide remark: "Thank God, The Lord of the Rings was not in this category."

Otherwise, Oscars night was replete with glamour, glitz and compere Billy Crystal (after four years), whose opening sequence with Jack Nicholson was cute. "Light ‘em up, Bill," he told Billy to get over his nervousness and then cut to the stage with Crystal wearing Nicholson’s dark glasses. "I’ll be your master and commander," he said, taking the name of Peter Weir’s nominated film which almost bombed at the Oscars like Cold Mountain. Didn’t Martin Scorcese’s Gangs of New York do the same?

Billy Crystal sang a lot too and did it well. What about his Mystic River to the tune of Old Man River and he went down the aisle to pay his respects to Clint Eastwood. "You sang in Pant Your Wagon, don’t do that now," he joked. Why he even did a Louis Armstrong mimickry.

Charlize Theron (right) and Renne Zellweger with their Oscars for Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress, respectively. — Reuters photos

The first presenter was Catherine Zeta-Jones and then as usual the string of Hollywood celebrities, Robin Williams hiding behind Crystal, then Tim Robbins and wife Susan Sarandon, Julie Andrews, John Travolta and Sandra Bullock and last year’s Best Actor winner Adrian Brody.

Sean Penn won the Best Actor Oscar for Mystic River but he downplayed it by saying: "There is no Best Actor" and paid a tribute to his fellow nominees and the Robert Downing Jr and others who have never won Oscars. Charlize Theron who won the Best Actress Oscar for Monster was more emotional and thanked the people of South Africa, her native country. This was a repartee to the The Lord of the Rings cast, who kept thanking the people of New Zealand.

The Best Supporting Actor Oscar went to Tim Robbins for Mystic River and the Best Supportng Actress Oscar to Renee Zellweger for Cold Mountain. So when Sophia Coppola got the Best Screenplay Oscar (the first time a woman was nominated in the category) it was apparent she wouldn’t get the Best Director Oscar. That was reserved for The Lord of the Rings.

When The Fog of War received the Best Documentary Oscar the maker did not waste the chance of going for the United States Government. "Forty years ago, we went down the rabbit hole with Vietnam, now I fear we are doing the same," he said with a pointed reference to the war-mongering George Bush. Crystal also took a dig at the US secretary of State by calling the film Donald Rumsfeld’s Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.

But for me the best part of these Oscars are the clips of old films. Since they were paying tributes to Katherine Hepburn and Gregory Peck (who died last year) there was enough of the old favourites like To Kill a Mockingbird, Guess Who’s coming to Dinner and Lion in Winter (in which Hepburn has the line "I could peal you like a pear"). Then Blake Edwards (still living) was also honoured with his Pink Panther films, Shot in the Dark and Breakfast at Tiffany’s, where Audrey Hepburn sings that timeless number Moon River.

The "In Memoriam" section is always imbued with a tinge of sadness. John Schlesinger of Midnight Cowboy fame, Alan bates, Art Carney, David Hemmings, Hope Lange and Western villain Jack Elam.

The build-up to the Oscars night was also adeptly handled, opening with Keisha Castle-Hughes, the 13-year-old (youngest) nominee for Best Actress in Whale Rider, who said her favourite actor was "Johnny Depp because he is such a huge stud." What more, she actually got introduced to Depp before the show started. Sadly, neither of them won an Oscar. Angelina Jolie said: "I feel so sexy in silky fabrics" and she looked it too with a plunging neckline and tattoos on her arm and shoulder. But she was alone. Sophia Copolla was "all teeth" but they called her pretty and she sat next to her brother and dad Francis Ford Coppola who were thrilled to see a second generation make her entry.

So most of those who came to the show were happy, especially the Lord of the Rings : Return of the King cast and they must have partied right through the night. So, ciao for now, and until the 77th Oscars night, inshallah.

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