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| Sunday, February 1, 2004 |
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| Sunday, February 1, 2004 |
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The Simoqin Prophecies The story begins like the Bible, when the Great Director calls: “Lights!” If this sounds similar to something you always hear on a film set, be not amused, for the book is full of déjà vu’s—now, where have I read that before. This witty-wink scrapbook of conjoined fantasies is the result of some outrageous cross-breeding and cut-paste. The central place in the story, the city of Kol, is unmistakably Kolkata, with all its magic (Bengal magic). I “assume” that the author is Bengali, though it’s evident. The city is under threat—let us assume we didn’t know—from its traffic and the forces of evil (if there is such a thing as evil). While the forces of evil can be crushed anytime the author wants, no one—not even the author—can control the traffic. Two centuries ago—sometimes it may seem that long—there had been a Great War (a cross between the Mahabharata, epic invasion of Lanka, two World Wars, present “war on terrorism” and Armageddon, the final battle between the Good and the Evil). The forces of evil were destroyed by Ravians, a race of immortals and a cross between good and evil, mostly good (if there is such a thing as good). Back to the future, and it is time to turn the apocalypse on its head and raise the demon again—Dark Lord, who’d rule and terrorise the world once he returned. There is thunder when he arrives (déjà vu’s so far: 3,94,52,875); his name: Danh-Gem (If you read it backwards, you’ll know who is he). Meghnad (Danh-Gem), who has been cross-bred with Osama bin Laden and Nostradamus, will be raised with the help of forces who had fought him in the Great War—the vanars led by Bali—and his trusted old allies. In the same year, a hero will come to oppose him, and that’s one of the Simoqin prophecies. You are not sure whether this “prophet of doom,” Nostradamus, sorry, Danh-Gem, is a visionary or are his powers merely a myth. Well, you’ll not know till the end of the book, because he is not raised till then, though all through this book that began like the Bible, a voice in your head keeps saying: “The End is near.” This is not a typical science fiction fantasy. What futuristic science, for example, could help you travel from Kolkata to Mumbai in four days; but then, it is a world where time and space have collapsed (Einstein prophecy) and characters and places have so intertwined that the actors have forgotten what role they played. Somewhere during the collapse, two worlds—one make-belief and one real—have merged, both having their own heroes, who are somehow misfits outside their natural environments. The two heroes are raised and trained like Neo (The One) of the Matrix trilogy, from where they go on parallel quests that converge at infinity. The make-belief hero, Asvin, is made in (where else, but) Bolvudis, which is a cross between Hollywood and Bollywood, by Mantric, a cross between Merlin of King Arthur’s court and Amitabh Bachchan, the “Badshah of Bollywood.” The real hero, Kirin, who is half-Ravian and a magic-mirror image of the author, is made in a Kolkata resto-bar. The inspiration for writing such a book comes from years of channel zapping and surviving Kolkata. This Kol minor (Samit is 23, and hence a “minor”), if he ever makes it into a film, the actors would all walk in disguise. Musharraf would enter as the Sultan of Artaxerxia (a cross between Afghanistan, Pakistan and Baghdad) and deliver his lines in doublespeak and triplethink. Eric and Steven will still be “seagulls,” but brothers. All feminists (women of substance) will appear as Maya “the spellbinder” and take on molesters. James Bond will wield a Silver Dagger and “M” would be the Chief Civilian. Money Penney, reborn in Kolkata, would be called Rupaisa and cross-bred with Charlie’s Angles. Mullah Omar, forever in disguise, will appear as himself and Jackie Chan will still be guarding Shaolin Temple. Kirin, “Hero Number One,” plays by the book and loses, while Asvin, his foolhardy rival in the squad, plays instinctively and wins, though with a lot of team effort. This match is fixed from the beginning. The book(ie) will trick you. Much of this book’s magic is because the characters are forever in jeopardy. This is much a story of the world, where everyone is half Ravian and half Asur. Every time there is a meeting of the “brotherhood of revival,” somebody is bumped off. Kirin advocates world peace, communal harmony, anti-casteism and environmental protection (a voice of the youth). This book has been written in code; to decipher it, you have to be at least half-Ravian (part-good). Libraries should not keep this book, for it will grow tentacles and find its eventual readers. The book has all the answers, and there is no such book. It will lead you to many more quests. Simoqin’s last prophecy—a sequel is coming. |
A paranoid rich man once buried his gold in his front yard and put up a sign near it: “There is no gold here. This book is a work of fiction. All characters…” Eventually, a thief would steal the treasure and add this comment to the old sign: “You are right.”