Saturday, January 10, 2004

NETPICK
The jerk!

Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"

Cheating

One day two fools were fighting outside an examination hall. Just then a man appeared and asked them the reason for their quarrel.

The first fool answered, "He left his answer sheet blank and I am bothered because I too left my answer sheet blank and now the teacher will think that we copied from each other."

The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases, and approached his new packer. He put his arm around the man’s shoulder and said:

"Well, Ole, I see you did what I asked. Stamped the top of each box, ‘This Side Up, Handle With Care’."

"Yes sir," the worker replied, "and just to make sure, I stamped it on the bottom too!"

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.

"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

While ferrying workers back and forth from our offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake. Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest, and jerked open the exit door. "Don't jump!" the pilot yelled. "This thing is supposed to float!"

As the man leapt from the helicopter into the lake, he yelled back, "Yeah, and it was supposed to fly too!"

When his teenage son wanted to borrow twenty dollars from him, the man said, "Son, don’t you realise that there are more important things in life than money?"

"Yes, dad", the son replied, "I do. But you need money to take them to the movies".

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)