LIFE TIES
Thrown out of gear by reality
Taru Bahl

Sunny was Meenal’s first born. She often asked God why he had created such opposing circumstances for the birth of her two sons. When she conceived Sunny, her husband Ravi accused her of cheating him into fatherhood. He shied away from the thought of being tied down and hated being tricked into shouldering responsibility when he was least prepared. He refused to accept Meenal’s innocence. Throughout her pregnancy she tried hard to keep her thoughts positive but she knew that her anxieties and unspoken thoughts would scar the foetus.

A week before Sunny was born, Ravi ran away, in the thick of December’s fog, leaving a brief note, severing ties with his wife and unborn child, leaving her free to chart out her own life thereafter. The following years were hellish. Being a survivor, Meenal put the scattered fragments of her life and tried moving on. She struggled to make ends meet but she put Sunny in the best school and whether it was music lessons or tennis coaching, she found the time to drive him around. She monitored his progress and boosted his morale whenever she felt he was losing focus.

After much persuasion, she agreed to marry Rajan, a senior IAS officer who had lost his wife. Relatives felt it would be ideal if they could get together since both of them needed the security and comfort of a normal home and since Rajan was okay with the idea of adopting Sunny, the arrangement would work out for everyone. Though both did not plan to have a child right away, when Meenal conceived there was a unanimous sense of joy. Through out her pregnancy, she was pampered like a baby.

As the boys grew up, it was evident that they were as different as chalk and cheese. If Sunny was moody and temperamental, Raghav was bright and peppy. Sunny’s academic progress could never be gauged accurately. In one term if he scored 90 per cent in maths in the next set of exams he would barely manage to scrape through. Raghav, on the other hand, was consistently a high achiever. Meenal tried hard to retain the balance and not let the boys get affected by the disparity in their temperaments and, more importantly, in the way people, situations and circumstances responded to them. The most reassuring sight for her was to see the boys sleep. A careless arm flung over or a muscular leg strewn across the body of the other with peaceful expressions on their face was a sight she held on to as she watched her boys sleep, hoping they would always stick by each other.

A conscious decision had been taken not to let Sunny know about his real father. There was no need, especially since Rajan had taken charge when he was less than five years old. In spite of the extra care that was taken to ensure that the first born did not ever feel ill-equipped in any way, Sunny gave both Rajan and Meenal a tough time with his erratic performance and indecisive behaviour. Also, he looked out of sync with his surroundings, kept irregular hours and was erratic in his behavioural responses. Since he was a sensitive child, they did not want to clamp him with too many do’s and dont’s, lest he rebel.

Rajan was trying hard to prepare him for going overseas for further education in the hope of motivating him to a higher purpose which would make him believe in his skills and motivate him to capitalise on his latent strengths. In the midst of all efforts to set things right, Sunny stumbled upon a truth that was to change his life, for the worse.

His biological father returned to the city after a long innings in Canada. An old friend told him that the boy was a replica of him. Having led a bohemian life, married a foreigner and divorced without any issue, he had a maddening urge to see his progeny. He accosted Sunny while the latter was on his way to college and told him that he was his father. He blurted out many details about his past. The damage was done. No amount of reassurance or talking helped. Sunny wanted to be with his father, convinced that his alcoholism and bankruptcy could be resolved if he had family around him. Torn between his real father and his stepfather, he remained confused and unable to arrive at any definitive conclusion. Ironically, things took a turn for the worse when Ravi died in his sleep of a massive heart attack.

This confounded the mental trauma that Sunny was already going through. He conjured images of his father being murdered and/or being tortured by his own people, who did not understand him. Either way, he found himself taking responsibility for the way things took shape. He knew that the truth was that his father had deserted him and his mother for no fault of theirs yet, seeing his father in the state that he did, he only felt guilty and ashamed.

Sunny’s mental state became delicate as he battled with a host of contradictory thoughts. No amount of counselling helped. All efforts at motivating him to go abroad for further studies were a waste as everyone could see now that the road to normalcy was a long way off. It would take years before he could erase the scars and self-doubts which his father had thrown up with his sudden re-appearance. Whether it was divine intervention or an act of irresponsible and impulsive immaturity, the biggest sufferer was Sunny whose fault was to be born at a wrong time to the wrong set of parents.

Even if he did succeed in bouncing back, he would always be riddled with nightmarish details about a dark past. He could neither forgive those around him and nor could he accept the facts that had been thrown up. He was truly destiny’s child. Maybe fate itself would find a way out.

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