Monday, November 3, 2003		Cyber Humour

Thus spake the wizards...
From Sunil Sharma

Living with a programmer is easy. All you need is the patience of a saint.

Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who strive to produce idiot-proof programs, and the Universe that strives to produce bigger idiots.

So far, the Universe is winning.

The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with an idea.

Customer support is an art, not a science.

So are most other forms of torture.

Programming is like pinball. The reward for doing it is the opportunity of doing it again.

 — Programmers’ saying

Father or Mom’s hubby

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer company’s production line, at which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This", he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it."

A smart guy who ran a humour mailing list stepped forward and asked, "Where is my father?"

There was the soft hum of powerful electronic gear going to the task. Panel lights lit and blinked, and within a couple of seconds the laser printer printed out a piece of paper: "Fishing off Florida."

The smart guy laughed: "Actually, my father is dead! It was a trick question."

The salesman, quickly thinking on his feet, replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as the Ultimate Computer was precise, perhaps a rewording of the question might work better.

The smart guy said to the Ultimate Computer, "Where is my mother’s husband?"

Again, the hum of the powerful electronic brain filled the room. After a moment, the laser printer whirred to life. The paper said: "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Florida."

— Culled from the Net