Train accident

A man wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realise that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?" He replied, "I would switch the points for one of the trains." "What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," he said, "and I'd use the manual lever over there." "What if that had been struck by lightning?" "Then," he continued, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "Well in that case," persevered the candidate, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there." "What if that too is not working?" "Oh, well then I'd run into town and get my wife." This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?" He answered, "Well, my wife has never seen a train wreck!"

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill.

"I'm shocked!" she complained.

"This is three times what you normally charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist.

"But you screamed so loudly, you scared away two other patients."

Blonde's English

A blonde finished her English exam and came out of the hall.

Her friends asked how did she do her exam, to which she replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I really thought, thought, thought hard... and at last wrote - THUNK "

Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma